“Everyone’s good at something.”
Said with the wrong tone, this statement can be taken as demeaning.
It can make someone like they’re being told, “you’re not so special.”
But I think the meaning behind this phrase should be seen as a positive thing. Not only is everone good at different things, but we need each other’s gifts to help each other. It’s the way society is designed to function.
At work I’m often reminded that my coworkers are all good at certain things. Someone’s good at making sense of numbers while someone else is good at connecting with people. Still someone else is the idea person, etc.
If you can’t tell by the title of my blog, I’m not usually the one to take center stage. Because I’m usually the quiet one in a gathering, it’s tempting to feel like I have nothing special to add, like my gifts are miniscule. Such as, I can crack a joke every now and again. Such as, I can decipher the meaning of a novel. Even worse, sometimes I see my strengths as performed only “because I can’t do such-and-such.”
I think it’s very important for people to recognize they have talents, and not only for the momentary psychological benefits. Talents can be fun to develop. They help us connect with other people, and they give the world color.
But there’s a deeper, philosophical reason I believe in talents. I think it’s a matter of survival. Just like wheat that is genetically modified to be a certain length and color looses some of its survival qualities, so will we as humans loose some of our qualities if we cease taking stock of our interests.
I’ve never quite accepted the term, “Jimmy was born to run,” or some other prophesy related to the boy’s destiny. It’s true that Jimmy might enjoy running, may even love or have a passion for it, but to say this is his main goal in life is put him in a box. It’s a crass way of sizing him up to standards that are convenient for us to weigh. I think whatever Jimmy was born to do, he will hopefully find out and learn to do it well.
So I give pause whenever someone uses religious language to reinforce what they are doing or why they are doing it. When people say, “God wants me to do such-and-such,” or even, “God called me…”, I wonder if they are in direct communication with God or whether they’re simply doing what they want to. Sometimes, we don’t know what we want, so we pretend someone else has made the decision, so all we have to do is follow. I think this can be damaging in reference to talents because sometimes it’s difficult to justify why, for instance, God might make me so good at video games.
I think that if you are good at something, and it doesn’t hurt anyone but gives you immense pleasure, confidence or worth, then I say go for it. In high school it became apparent that my brother was a very good dancer. He never pursued dance, I think, largely because no one that I can remember encouraged him to. “It’s nice for high school dances, but what’s the practicality?” We must have all thought. I’ve often felt guilty about not encouraging him, and intensely curious where that path may have led him.
So definitely look for talents in others, as well as yourself. It’s fun to find those with the same passions and skills. I’ve found I often pair myself with the type A personalities, but I also have a heart for those who are too reserved to let their true colors show. Who knows, maybe I’m a talent scout at heart.
March 19, 2013
March 15, 2013
Frida, Fame and Diego
When I was young I idolized public figures. It didn’t matter who you were--the president, a movie star, an author--I thought that because of the high number of people who knew your name or face you were set apart from the rest of humanity, from us normal people.
That was before I realized that for the majority of people who gain notoriety fame, and particularly the lack of privacy, can be an incredible inconvenience. Sure, some people are fueled by the idea of being in the spotlight. But most of the time the insanely famous are normal people. As John Lennon understates in Beatles Anthology, “We were just a band…who made it very, very big. That’s all.”
One of the trickiest things about fame is the more people know about you, the less control you have over your public opinion. Perhaps artists are the luckiest in this regard, they have their artwork to speak for them long after they physically die. Still, people will remember what they wish. “Yeah, I know about Van Gogh. He’s the one who cut off his ear and sent it to the woman he loved because he was crazy.”
I thought a lot about fame after enjoying the exhibit “Frida and Diego: Passion, Politics and Painting” with my wife at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. As the exhibit explained, Frida Kahlo was a self-taught amateur painter who married Diego Rivera, the most important Mexican artist of his time. Married for twenty-four years, Frieda and Diego lived passionate and often contentious lives together. Did their fame add stresses to already violent tendencies?
Suppose fame did make their lives more difficult. Would Diego rescind his artistic influence if it meant living a quieter life? Probably not--people with Diego’s talent and drive are a gift of humanity to itself, and often I think artists know just how important their role is in the grand scheme of things.
Though self-taught, Frida Kahlo made her own mark in the Mexican art culture with still-lifes, self-portraits and emotionally charged pieces bordering on surrealism. She suffered several miscarriages because of a bus injury, and the paintings which depict the subsequent emotional and physical pain are as gripping as they are grotesque. I found myself reacting to these paintings with cynical detachment, partly because I am a male and have difficulty relating to motherhood, or motherhood lost. I thought, well if Frida is in this exhibit fifty years after her death, certainly her legacy is worth the pain of not having children. But how can I be so sure, and who am I to judge?
I am also cynical because I am jealous. Let’s face it: I will never create art like Frida Kahlo or Diego Rivera, but I would like to. And I would like to be recognized for such greatness, because what else substantiates achievement but critical acclaim? Something inside me tells me, you don’t want to be famous, it’s never what it’s cracked up to be. But I’m still deathly curious what it would be like.
The other day I was grateful that after reading one of my video game reviews, a poster said they enjoyed it very much. I was overjoyed--someone likes my writing! But we all know how the math goes: the fuzzy feelings of nine compliments can be leveled with a single negative one. I know I shouldn’t stake my sense of fulfillment in the adoration of others, but it’s so easy to.
Earlier this week I had an encounter I’ll remember for a long time. Recently elected, our new mayor came into the café where I work and ordered his standard bagel with butter and apple juice. But this day he looked different--he was simply glowing with rest and the relief that comes from victory after a year-long campaign. I was so happy for him. Sure, he chose to be a politician, but no one deserves to be exhausted every day for a year. I wonder what the future holds for me, and which ways I’ll choose to wear myself out for the good of everyone.
 |
| high.org |
That was before I realized that for the majority of people who gain notoriety fame, and particularly the lack of privacy, can be an incredible inconvenience. Sure, some people are fueled by the idea of being in the spotlight. But most of the time the insanely famous are normal people. As John Lennon understates in Beatles Anthology, “We were just a band…who made it very, very big. That’s all.”
One of the trickiest things about fame is the more people know about you, the less control you have over your public opinion. Perhaps artists are the luckiest in this regard, they have their artwork to speak for them long after they physically die. Still, people will remember what they wish. “Yeah, I know about Van Gogh. He’s the one who cut off his ear and sent it to the woman he loved because he was crazy.”
I thought a lot about fame after enjoying the exhibit “Frida and Diego: Passion, Politics and Painting” with my wife at the High Museum of Art in Atlanta. As the exhibit explained, Frida Kahlo was a self-taught amateur painter who married Diego Rivera, the most important Mexican artist of his time. Married for twenty-four years, Frieda and Diego lived passionate and often contentious lives together. Did their fame add stresses to already violent tendencies?
Suppose fame did make their lives more difficult. Would Diego rescind his artistic influence if it meant living a quieter life? Probably not--people with Diego’s talent and drive are a gift of humanity to itself, and often I think artists know just how important their role is in the grand scheme of things.
 |
| pbs.org |
I am also cynical because I am jealous. Let’s face it: I will never create art like Frida Kahlo or Diego Rivera, but I would like to. And I would like to be recognized for such greatness, because what else substantiates achievement but critical acclaim? Something inside me tells me, you don’t want to be famous, it’s never what it’s cracked up to be. But I’m still deathly curious what it would be like.
The other day I was grateful that after reading one of my video game reviews, a poster said they enjoyed it very much. I was overjoyed--someone likes my writing! But we all know how the math goes: the fuzzy feelings of nine compliments can be leveled with a single negative one. I know I shouldn’t stake my sense of fulfillment in the adoration of others, but it’s so easy to.
Earlier this week I had an encounter I’ll remember for a long time. Recently elected, our new mayor came into the café where I work and ordered his standard bagel with butter and apple juice. But this day he looked different--he was simply glowing with rest and the relief that comes from victory after a year-long campaign. I was so happy for him. Sure, he chose to be a politician, but no one deserves to be exhausted every day for a year. I wonder what the future holds for me, and which ways I’ll choose to wear myself out for the good of everyone.
March 12, 2013
Motivation Meditation, Blog Rededication
It’s been a moment since I last posted. Ok, try half a year. Much has been happening in my life, but I haven’t known how to turn those thoughts and feelings into writing.
So I want to begin by writing one thought at a time. Isn’t that what weblogs are supposed to be, after all?
Motivation, that Sly Energy
Motivation has for a long time been a tricky aspect of life for me. There are many things I’d like to do, goals I want to pursue, but very often I don’t seem close to doing them. It’s easy to fear that I don’t know how to pursue my interests, or perhaps that there is a disconnect between what I think my values are, and what I actually spend time and efforts on.
A friend of mine and I talk about motivation often. We agree that motivation seems to be such a nebulous energy. She may be excited to get off work so she can do such-and-such a task, only to find that when she gets home, the excitement is gone and so she does something else entirely.
Funny thing, I take my friend to be an incredibly motivated person, so how could she see herself otherwise? It can be very much in the eye of the beholder. Here are some other things I’ve learned regarding motivation:
1) Systematize Rewards
About a year ago an acquaintance explained to me the concept of a rewards system, and it’s stuck with me ever since. Sometimes we take on small projects that seem insurmountable in themselves, so it can be helpful to have a small reward for yourself once you’ve completed it. Two things I enjoy doing are eating sweets and playing video games. Many times I’ve gotten through a task by taking small video game or snack breaks. However, it’s also helpful to recognize when rewards aren’t necessary, that you’re perfectly fine getting on with things without it.
2) Distract Productively
It was very helpful once I realized that in the face of an important task that takes focus, minor rabbit trails can be an aid, not a hindrance. If my will in the moment is met by stubborn opposition, I will pick a short, but productive task to accomplish before I continue. Sometimes it takes several tiny tasks to gain enough momentum to finally “get down to business.”
3) Sometimes Just Do
It can be a damaging myth that a bootstraps mentality can get you through most any block in motivation. Sometimes method #2 above isn’t practical because you need your whole twenty minutes to complete a task. In this case it’s probably best to just pump it out in the best way possible. But as life would have it, we sometimes do have ample time. Then we can ask ourselves, do I really need to be stubborn with this, or would it be better to push this away and rest my mind for a sec?
4) Decipher What You Can Control
Now we swim into subjective waters by talking about such an issue as control. I believe motivation is largely linked to control issues. Sometimes I get bitter about what I haven’t accomplished, thinking I ought to be able to follow through with any goal I so wish. It’s important to know what types of things we can control and those we can’t. Making goals which completely misestimate our capabilities often lead to burn-out, plain poor results, or starting from scratch.
5) Do What I Just Did
Everyone has their own motivational cues. I’m not so sure I believe in Seven Habits to making people effective, even though that was a pretty darn good book. I encourage you to determine which approaches you tend to lean toward--perhaps they represent some of these I‘ve mentioned. Reject those habits which consistently don’t work. A method of production I learned in college was to redeem time between classes by attempting one, two, or three manageable tasks or assignments by the time I had to leave for the next class. What are your cues?
As always, pay attention to what others seem to do that works. Perhaps they are like my friend and myself, who are too hard on themselves when it comes to motivation. Find people you know who appear to use their time wisely, and ask them what they do that works. Motivation can be an intimate thing, however, so you may be given more to chew on than you might expect.
Blog Explanation
Now that I’ve gotten some thoughts down on motivation, I want to communicate the purpose of my blog and how I aim to accomplish that.
> A collection of thoughts…Some day I’d love to write a book of essays, and those thoughts need to begin somewhere. I’d like to be a novelist, a memoirist, a journalist, or a freelancer. Some day I’d like to say I’ve been a writer for a long time.
> A hub for my writing…when I’m not blogging I’m writing video game reviews, looking for freelancing opportunities, deciding where my passions lie. All these are actions worth writing about and connecting to my blog.
< A journal…notice I said when I’m not blogging, I’m journaling, etc. This blog isn’t meant for me to pour out my insecurities about writing, being a professional or anything like that. I’d like to stick to the positive, and give you something from what I know.
I recognize that when I created this blog last summer it had a different focus. For now I’m keeping all those posts about literature, fic sketches and the community. They were a path to where I am now.
Thanks for bearing with my progress!
Sincerely,
Moore.jr
So I want to begin by writing one thought at a time. Isn’t that what weblogs are supposed to be, after all?
Motivation, that Sly Energy
Motivation has for a long time been a tricky aspect of life for me. There are many things I’d like to do, goals I want to pursue, but very often I don’t seem close to doing them. It’s easy to fear that I don’t know how to pursue my interests, or perhaps that there is a disconnect between what I think my values are, and what I actually spend time and efforts on.
A friend of mine and I talk about motivation often. We agree that motivation seems to be such a nebulous energy. She may be excited to get off work so she can do such-and-such a task, only to find that when she gets home, the excitement is gone and so she does something else entirely.
Funny thing, I take my friend to be an incredibly motivated person, so how could she see herself otherwise? It can be very much in the eye of the beholder. Here are some other things I’ve learned regarding motivation:
1) Systematize Rewards
About a year ago an acquaintance explained to me the concept of a rewards system, and it’s stuck with me ever since. Sometimes we take on small projects that seem insurmountable in themselves, so it can be helpful to have a small reward for yourself once you’ve completed it. Two things I enjoy doing are eating sweets and playing video games. Many times I’ve gotten through a task by taking small video game or snack breaks. However, it’s also helpful to recognize when rewards aren’t necessary, that you’re perfectly fine getting on with things without it.
2) Distract Productively
It was very helpful once I realized that in the face of an important task that takes focus, minor rabbit trails can be an aid, not a hindrance. If my will in the moment is met by stubborn opposition, I will pick a short, but productive task to accomplish before I continue. Sometimes it takes several tiny tasks to gain enough momentum to finally “get down to business.”
3) Sometimes Just Do
It can be a damaging myth that a bootstraps mentality can get you through most any block in motivation. Sometimes method #2 above isn’t practical because you need your whole twenty minutes to complete a task. In this case it’s probably best to just pump it out in the best way possible. But as life would have it, we sometimes do have ample time. Then we can ask ourselves, do I really need to be stubborn with this, or would it be better to push this away and rest my mind for a sec?
4) Decipher What You Can Control
Now we swim into subjective waters by talking about such an issue as control. I believe motivation is largely linked to control issues. Sometimes I get bitter about what I haven’t accomplished, thinking I ought to be able to follow through with any goal I so wish. It’s important to know what types of things we can control and those we can’t. Making goals which completely misestimate our capabilities often lead to burn-out, plain poor results, or starting from scratch.
5) Do What I Just Did
Everyone has their own motivational cues. I’m not so sure I believe in Seven Habits to making people effective, even though that was a pretty darn good book. I encourage you to determine which approaches you tend to lean toward--perhaps they represent some of these I‘ve mentioned. Reject those habits which consistently don’t work. A method of production I learned in college was to redeem time between classes by attempting one, two, or three manageable tasks or assignments by the time I had to leave for the next class. What are your cues?
As always, pay attention to what others seem to do that works. Perhaps they are like my friend and myself, who are too hard on themselves when it comes to motivation. Find people you know who appear to use their time wisely, and ask them what they do that works. Motivation can be an intimate thing, however, so you may be given more to chew on than you might expect.
Blog Explanation
Now that I’ve gotten some thoughts down on motivation, I want to communicate the purpose of my blog and how I aim to accomplish that.
> A collection of thoughts…Some day I’d love to write a book of essays, and those thoughts need to begin somewhere. I’d like to be a novelist, a memoirist, a journalist, or a freelancer. Some day I’d like to say I’ve been a writer for a long time.
> A hub for my writing…when I’m not blogging I’m writing video game reviews, looking for freelancing opportunities, deciding where my passions lie. All these are actions worth writing about and connecting to my blog.
< A journal…notice I said when I’m not blogging, I’m journaling, etc. This blog isn’t meant for me to pour out my insecurities about writing, being a professional or anything like that. I’d like to stick to the positive, and give you something from what I know.
I recognize that when I created this blog last summer it had a different focus. For now I’m keeping all those posts about literature, fic sketches and the community. They were a path to where I am now.
Thanks for bearing with my progress!
Sincerely,
Moore.jr
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